pt.2

I just read through John chapter 12. Jesus walks into Bethany to have dinner with Lazarus, raised from the dead. I can’t help but think about when Jesus last came upon the home of Lazarus. This happens just a chapter back in John 11. He hears the Lazarus is sick, and in v.4, Jesus says to the disciples, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified by it. Now Jesus loved Martha, her sister [Mary], and Lazarus.”

Then, with this in mind, He sits. Stays another 2 days. I know that many people wanted a piece of that healing - and the evidence of the scripture seems to point to it contributing to Him being worn out. But this was someone He loved. Not much sense in that. But remember that He doesn’t leave those around Him without an explanation. Re-read v.4 .

What strikes me is that we know the rest of the story – and I am not suggesting that we’ve missed v.4 . It’s naturally one of the keys to the telling and re-telling of the story. But for me, what keeps me eyes on the text is the fact of these things:

He let them know what was going on.

He knew what was going on.

But the story seems to go on as if this wasn't necessarily the case. I'm not saying that Jesus forgot anything - but knowing doesn't always make living through this stuff easy.

Starting in v. 11, Jesus seems to change His story – now Lazarus has fallen asleep –

This He said, and after that He said to them, "Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I go, so that I may awaken him out of sleep."

The disciples then said to Him, "Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover."

Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that He was speaking of literal sleep.

And then Jesus says something particular – "Lazarus is dead, and I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, so that you [the disciples] may believe; but let us go to him.


Jesus and the disciples arrive, and Lazarus has been dead for 4 days.

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died."

When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, "Where have you laid him?" They said to Him, "Lord, come and see."

Jesus wept.

And I can’t really help but wonder.

In the times that I think that everything is crashing down – that I think that somehow if these pieces that I so hope would finally fall together – if it isn’t some sort of dirty trick. I don’t mean that in a way that would be anti-Him, so much as a dirty trick I’m playing on myself, on my very conscience. Jesus knows that Lazarus is dead, and that the sickness in v.4 is not unto death (at least with any permanence). But He weeps.

This person, this Savior, was also man, but a mere baby in a womb, born into a filthy stable. Over the next years He would eat on beaches, flee mountaintops, be confronted with wild men, careless keepers of His sheep, and the very people He chose betraying Him. When it speaks in Hebrews about Him not being an un-sympathetic High Priest, we should be ashamed that we have made the Savior shine without the dirty clothes and label of Nazareth and being a carpenter’s son. He will wrestle with the very meaning of submitting to a higher will, to a justice that He made, but we broke. He had to bear the responsibility of every filthy thing I have ever thought, dreamed, or schemed. Lazarus, even within the words of v.14-15 (check it out), was dead, and sorrow was part of this man dealing with all the measure and weight of this loss – even though He knows what is to come. **

I’m a fairly emotional guy, but much is bound up in being what we would call strong. I figure that is the relief I feel at weeping. It is really relief – and exhausting at it’s core – as if the wrestling of these things has finally come forth and imprinted itself on my flesh and bones. It is as if everything comes loose and is washed clean.

My grandmother once told me a story along those lines. My grandfather passed away quite a while ago, and she told of how, for a long time she felt nothing in regards to that. It was as if the slate had been wiped clean and it had never happened. Then one day, and this mental picture sticks with me, she was sitting in the basement and she prayed and asked God why – and plead with Him that she just wanted to feel something.

And then it came.

Like a flood.

It overwhelmed her, the weeping, the emotion, the loss. It was beyond any sorrow she had ever known.

And then she realized just what He, this High Priest, had kept from her – what He Himself was bearing for her.

And somehow we must too bring ourselves before this throne of grace in this season of Joy, and think on the flesh, the humanity of Christ. The OT has the some of the best description of this coming Savior -

Is 53.3,7b – “He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief, and like one from whom men hide their face. He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.”

“…in humiliation His judgment was taken away…”

I have never felt this. I have never felt this. I will never feel this.

It was borne for me.

I have tricked myself into thinking I understand sorrow.

Really, that sickens me. It makes me tired.

So what I come to in all this is my need to know Him more over this next year. Lately I have been working on practicing the presence of Christ, and in that God. This involves leaving a lot at the table in terms of experiential gospel. Simply, this means, knowing God outside the works of my hands, outside the filter of my understanding. It means strengthening my understanding of Him, of His flesh, of His suffering, of His joys. It is to know Him in my rising, in my laying down, in my eating and sleeping, in my daily bread and breath; hoping to, in all things, see Him at work and look closely on how He would desire to be lifted up. To see how His name is not only lived out, but how it is understood and imprinted on my being. I know I will suck at this, make a mockery of Him – but mostly I hope to continue to make a mockery of this flesh, of me, so that I might place it side by side with my redemption to see where it is keeping the light out.

For what would happen if I didn’t have the Word here with me? Could I still hear Him?
What if I could not use this body - could I serve Him?
If I could not speak – would I worship Him?
I could not see - would I still declare the wonders of His creation?

There must be something more then these things to drive my faith.

So I must look back to Him – for even though He knew ever story that would be ever told, every rock that would ever move, and every man that would ever die and be raised again He will sit before Jerusalem and weep.

And I want, no, I must, somehow know how to do the same.

________________________________________________________________________


**(Let’s not play this off as some sort of, “He had to be born in a stable – He had to be a carpenter – He had to break down their expectations.” He could have come as a king’s son, and they still would have killed him – don’t fool yourself. We can no more claim Him as blue collar as put Him against the white and grey collars. But there is something to all the dirt, the eye level with the poor, the tired, the widow and the orphan. It is as if the layers keep peeling off as I read – the causes are multiplied and proved out till you begin to understand the statement that they would fill the very world if all were told around the campfires and creeks of our life.)

practicing the presence...pt.1

First, the fall.

At creation, man is not innocent, sinless – he is mostly ignorant to these things. His one purpose in this is to know God. He does not know good or evil, right or wrong – just the Creator. He is commanded to look over the garden, and not to eat of that tree. The line is drawn – know me, not that fruit – not the taste, feel, or the knowledge of the things that go with it. The knowledge of good and evil. Satan steps up to the plate, push comes to shove, and Eve eats. Then Adam. At this point something important has happened – they “understand”, they “know” good and evil. They are not longer undivided in word or thought – they now have become the “decideders” of their fate. They have separated themselves through disobedience. They now know shame – they are branded by it’s very curse – they know nakedness, they have to take on the burden of this knowledge. God is no longer to sole provider – they must fend for themselves, for with the loss of the relationship is the loss of the membership. And without membership, there goes the privileges. God curses them, and then with the leaving of the Garden, the road begins back home.

Back to knowing just Him. To being free from shame, from needing to make this thing go, from weighing morals. Everything from that point till Revelation is to have us know (being literally intimate with the fact) that He is the Lord. Again. To love Him with all our hearts, minds, strength, mind, being, life, words, thoughts, even our very breath. We called back to a single-minded obedience, one that does not look to the right or the left – one that sees the narrow road – that sees Him as He leads us to a death to self through His example on the cross. He not only has made the rules, but provides the means to make it through.

This is the whole of our story - to get back home, to a righteousness that is dependent on Him alone. To a place where our daily bread is at His table, He is our only shield and bulwark, and we know Him alone.

more in pt. 2

in the midst.

The kingdom of Christ is to be in the midst of your enemies. And he who will not suffer does not want to be of the kingdom of Christ, he wants to be among friends, to sit among the roses and lilies, not with bad people, but the devout people. O you blasphemers and betrayers of Christ! If Christ had done what you are doing who would have ever been spared?

-M. Luther

A Bloody Struggle

Heb 12:4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

What the?

You’re supposed to do this?

Have you ever shed your own blood for anything? I’m not talking about the time you got a paper cut while paying off your credit card bills. I’m not even talking about cutting yourself on a piece of metal while changing your oil.

I am talking about truly bleeding. Looking down. Realizing you are bleeding. Then continuing on with whatever it is your are so desperately struggling against.

I did this once. I got injured early on in a ball game. Then I kept playing. The whole game!

It was heroic.

We even won.

Nobody even noticed.

I guess that doesn’t really count either does it?

Heb 12:4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

What would this look like? I am reminded of the scene in The Boondock Saints when one of the brothers is handcuffed to a toilet. He struggles so violently against his bondage that his wrists and arms start to actually bleed.

Are we supposed to struggle like this against sin?

Yes.

Why?

Because the Bible says to?

Sure.

But really…why?

Because you don’t belong there. You don’t belong in sin. You were not created to live in sin. You were created to walk with God.

In perfect fellowship.

Heb 12:4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

Read the three verses before this one.

Heb 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Beautiful.

What are we supposed to do?

Lay aside sin. Run the race that has been set before us.

Look to Jesus!

Why?

Because the Bible says to?

No!

Because Jesus endured the cross. Jesus took our shame. Jesus is seated at the right hand of God!

Because of Jesus we are free.

Free to live.

Sin has been conquered

So run! You are here for a reason. A race has been set before you. Lay aside sin.

Look to your Savior.

The one who humbly came so many years ago and endured your shame.

Merry Christmas. Thank you Jesus!

a theology of drinking .1

(and other minor thoughts)

I think that it’s a strange world that we live in. I fear even writing something down – perhaps scared that a trend might compel someone to see it as new. Let’s be honest – this is not new – nothing is – we are merely called back to something that has been said, thought, explained, expounded, proclaimed, forgotten, crushed, laughed at even. Truth be told – we have bad hearing and deficient sight in regard to these things. The truth that is told, that we are called back to, is not misunderstood as much as misused, perverted and altogether ignored. Since when has ignorance been considered revolutionary? Getting it is not a qualifier of value, it is a representation of our desperation and how far behind we are even those in the desert. To put it down on paper does not signify my desire to speak anything beyond what was said – I feel drawn, compelled even, to explain such things as I have been beaten with, that once again, truth may be told in hope that through obedience on my end I might be seen as just that by Him, as just that alone, obedient. That said, I pray and hope (in that order) that this is neither too simple as to draw you away, nor to wordy as to represent pride rather than clear and careful thought.

What I think is that thinking has got us into a world of hurt. Our mouth precedes from the heart, and our heart is so full of itself it can’t help but blurt out. I can’t be sure how that really plays out in all situations, but truly there isn’t much that we can deny in this. I guess there is a few of us that could mount up enough pride disguised as courage to deny we’ve slipped up in this way.

I just read the other day a good heart rebuke from a young guy who believed that liberty flaunted is not liberty thought highly of. But we think this is fine – we have turned legalism into rebellion against anything that might be thought to be in the vaguest way attached to the former. We struggle to exercise restraint, and rejoice in those who stretch it in ways that would hardly be seen as Godly. Turning the world on it’s head, throwing back at it it’s own game (the very game we talk about as damaging the “very core of the nation”). Language and terms we wouldn’t use within the range of children is commonplace. Drink becomes not a practice of enjoyment as much as another entry into the high school dance hierarchy. If the rules are not played to, then you will be left on the side – ah the weaker brother. At this rate, those called aside to something are slighted, even the Nazarene’s – Samson himself – are seen as weaker. Elijah is left in the desert, maligned as a man would is not able to dress and speak the part, and Paul is only seen as being powerful in letter – but his presence is rather insubstantial, and left to his own table, picking at the food before him. So, back to the thinking.

I dare say that maybe we’ve postulated a bit too much about the scriptures at hand. We blinked when they say consider others as more important than self, to wash the feet of the brethren (even Judas), to forsake the meat (or drink) sacrificed to idols for the “weaker” brethren. We find that we become the weaker brother, unable to control our passions, our tongues, our thirst, our very bodies – preferring to gather the riches of the liberties of this world, the very works of His hands, rather then to submit ourselves once again to the cross. We talk about that one thing in such grand terms, but I fear in my very soul that I can’t even think of it without the failing of everything I see and do within my own soul. I see the sole purpose on the mind of Jesus as to die, to redeem, to be resurrected, and to complete the work written. And not for self, even then. It was not for God Himself incarnate to call the shots on that one – and He knew how it would all go down. The sole thought was one of purpose, a purpose written on His heart as the will of the Father. Theology is defined in this one thing – Scripture itself finds it very fulfillment in this work. It is as simple and as complicated as that.

I suppose that in truth, this again isn’t new to any of us. The old lesson is right there on paper, slow and un-weighty. It seems fine for talking about, postulating within – but the push comes to shove, and in desperation we hatch a plan – a solution to this quandary of sin – to the quiet hatred we have for the very things we are called to. Our mission becomes the end goal, not the obedience that straps us into a framework that is slow, steady, and backbreaking. We need mission statements because the words that we so vigorously defend are not really enough are they?

Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind
Love your neighbor as yourself

If we believe this, then what must be hatched? What must we do to be saved? For others to be saved?

will it pay?

From a speech delivered Aug. 3, 1857.

"…if such a people as ours had heard the beloved disciple of the Lord, exclaiming in the rapture of the apocalyptic vision, "And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach to them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, kindred, tongue, and people;" they, instead of answering, Amen Glory to God in the Highest, would have responded,--but brother John, will it pay? Can money be made out of it? Will it make the rich richer, and the strong stronger? How will it effect property? In the eyes of such people, there is no God but wealth; no right and wrong but profit and loss….[Our] national morality and religion have reached a depth of baseness than which there is no lower deep."

Frederick Douglas

While Thy servant was doing his own thing...

When I was younger than I am now, I was required to listen to my earthly father more than I am now, although I sometimes wonder if acting in accordance with his teaching (as I often do even now) isn’t a form of listening since I am hearing his instruction in my mind right before I act upon it.

Additionally, I can remember these teachings as I re-read the Bible because many of his teachings have been biblical. These teachings which I label as biblical include passages of scripture. Determine for yourself if you know which story this paraphrase comes from:

“While thy servant was busy here and there, the prisoner escaped!”

Let me help you out (what sort of blog entry would this be if I didn’t get to explain something?): God had appointed the king of Israel, whose name was Ahab, to destroy a particular king and his army because that king had dared to say that the authority of Israel’s God did not reach all the way into valleys, but only the tops of mountains.

Ahab took his army out to the plains against a huge army where he should have lost the battle, but because God was against the enemies of Israel, Ahab’s army smashed its enemies and everyone knew that this was because of God.

Even so, when the king who was opposed by God approached the king of Israel, the king of Israel gave to him land and blessing, although God had determined that he should be destroyed.

After this, God appointed a prophet to tell Ahab a story (kind of like God once appointed Nathan to tell David a story). This story can be read in 1 Kings 20:39-42. It is about how a man was told to guard a prisoner who was clearly important. This man failed to regard the importance of the task assigned to him although he had been warned strictly, but kept himself busy with whatever was on the effective top of his priority list so that the prisoner escaped and the servant lost his life (or had to pay a talent of silver). The prophet told the king that he would lose his life because he had allowed the enemy of God to live. He also told the king that his people would die because of the continued lives of the people of the enemy of God.

This reminds me of a particular part of the first chapter of “The God who is there” by Francis Schaeffer that explains that doing 99% of the good things in the world is worthless activity if you are avoiding the one thing that you are supposed to be doing. That is to say that priority lists are to be arranged so that the items on them are organized in either ascending or descending order, and then the tasks upon these lists are to be performed in the corresponding order (Sabbaths observed also).

I was talking to my brother in law last night about the best way to meet a woman whose face I have not seen and whose voice I have not heard, and he reminded me of what my friend Brandon told me more than a year ago, “You must keep what is best for whatshername at the front of your mind.” I have since thought to myself, “I haven’t thought about that in a while.”

I have concluded that those who haven’t thought about what it is that they are supposed to be doing in a while are not very likely to be doing the things that they are supposed to be doing. I would have been one of those people in that instance.

So if you are a wife who is busy serving your church, your children, your neighbor and everyone but your husband, skip to the last paragraph of this web log entry.

If you are a child who loves to read church web logs and learn lots of big words of theology while ignoring the teaching of your parents, skip to the last paragraph of this web log entry.

If you are an employee and you steal resources from your employee and give them to your church, read on.

Start doing what you are supposed to be doing because you can sin through omission. If you don’t know what it is that you are supposed to be doing, put some effort into finding out before more time and energy is wasted.

Washing At Dusk

by Rich Mullins
Release Magazine Summer 1992

Someday I shall be a great saint - like those you see in the windows of magnificent cathedrals. I will have a soul made of sunlight and skin as clear as the stained glass panels that make their skin, and I will shine like they do now - I will shine with the glory that comes over those who rise up early and seek the Lord....

But I do not shine so now - especially not in the morning. In fact, I grimace until noon, I would never be mistaken for a stained glass saint, though at 7 AM I might be grey and grotesque as a gargoyle. By faith I accept that "God's commands are not burdensome," but right now, I am not grown in that measure of grace that frees me to exalt in this particular command to seek Him "early in the morning."

Right now it is dusk and far in the east the sky is already being inked with the shadow that our earth makes of itself and some nearer stars are waking there. I am in a park in Indianapolis, Indiana and right now these great trees are casting no shadows; the greens of their leaves are holding the last rays of sun already set and the sky in the wet is bright and turquoise and it shines like a semi-precious stone - as if any stone could be "semi-precious". And over all that I can see, over my motorcycle and the trunks and limbs of these hardwood giants, over this close cut lawn and the now abandoned tennis courts and baseball diamonds, over the sky (still fading, still and newly exquisite) and over me, a great peace washes. It comes up from the ground and down from the heavens - a deep peace breathed out by a universe that surrounds itself again to the embrace of its Creator - its God, who is to be sought by His saints in the hours of early mornings but condescends to seek out even sinners at dusk and washes them at evening in the peace of His presence and throws round their shoulders the cloak of His acceptance and puts on their fingers the ring of His pleasure - the pleasure He takes in them when He meets them here on the road even before they could get home, when He echoes in the evening the hymn He sang for them at dawn.

Someday I will rise up like the sun in the morning - someday I will shine like the saints who watch from cathedral windows. I know this, not because of any evidence I have produced of myself, but because of the witness of His scriptures, because of the evidence of His grace, and because of the testimony of this sky that washes over me at dusk.

a brief word-o on this blog here

It's not as if many people (if any) read this blog, but I figured I would best serve that group by explaining. This blog started as a chance to just put down thoughts, but as Patso wrote in the post before this, I find writing a hit and mostly miss proposition. In that I enlisted a few friends to help me span the gap a bit. The purpose of this blog is to translate what is going on in our heads - our thoughts on God, this life, how we fit within what He is teaching us - what it really means to awake from the dead state we live in day to day. We are not anything that could be posted about in terms of credentials, nor does it matter where we serve or live - it's a matter of need to not let our fear and pride keep us from lifting high the name of the Lord through our weaknesses, stories, and thoughts.

...and we hope and pray that is enough, and that obedience will ring true.

Freedom terrible freedom

I was always convinced of my genius, it was an easy task, the trick is to never test it, but I was sure if only I had a chance to write to a public en mass, beautiful things were sure to ensue. I've been blogging now for a couple of months, the results have shown me a reality that is less than encouraging, but God doesn't need geniuses per say He just needs the willing, and thankful to tell of His wonders, so I'll try.

Introducing Myself

Even if I had decided to not write this introduction, you would easily have noticed that this posting had been written by a person other than the person who wrote the last posting. I am Joshua. I have never been to Bible School. I have never been to seminary. I have never even been to a Christian School. Well, I have been to Vacation Bible Schools in which puppets do the teaching, but that is not really relevent. I am not a pastor like Jefro who has been the only person to post here before me. I do attend Seaside Church in Bremerton though, and that probably has something to do with Jefro allowing me to type here. If you really want to know who I am, consider yourself invited to utilize my blog by starting with the posting on the bottom and working your way up.

I just sat down with my Bible and the notes that I was going to look at and I am actually kind of intimidated regarding the beginning of a new, biblically based post, so I am going to use this first posting to point out some of my earlier blog postings that actually say something:

Parents
I learned something new about the Pollyanna movie
What I did last night
Thanksgiving 1

Since posting Thanksgiving 1 on November 23rd, I have been reminded of something that I had forgotten how to explain. Alan Giles pointed out to my community group that the patience of God which is mentioned in 2 Peter 3 is patience for the as yet unredeemed sinner (as I mentioned), but also for the redeemed believer. He explained that God is giving the redeemed believers time to be sanctified so that we can receive a "rich welcome" into "the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" as 2 Peter 1:11 mentions. I am sure that all who are welcomed into this kingdom will think that they are receiving a rich welcome because this kingdom is so great, but this rich welcome is the goal of the disciplines mentioned in verses 5 through 7 of the same chapter.